He Cheated. Should You Leave?
Whether you find out via text message, Facebook, or in person, discovering that your spouse cheated is the worst feeling a wife can have. It’s a strange, defining, and all consuming feeling of betrayal from the one you love the most.
Unsurprisingly, friends and family will voice their opinions on what you should do next- kick him out of the house, leave the house yourself, file for divorce or stay. And while you consider your options, consider why he cheated in the first place – Not asking you to empathize with him. Just asking you to give yourself a moment of reflection before deciding:
- Selfishness – Sometimes, it’s as simple as he always wanted to have that experience, and he never had the chance to…until now. It has nothing to do with you, whether he loves you and the kids, and whether or not he’s happy. No, you couldn’t have done anything better or made yourself more desirable. It was just something he always wanted to do – date a blonde, tattoo-covered, cigarette-smoking broad. He isn’t thinking about you or the kids or the consequences
- Lack of Intimacy – Men like women need not only physical but emotional intimacy with their partner. If sex was never great for him, for you, and it was never addressed, it might lead him to stray. If there were never opportunities for date nights, late night conversations, or carved out update hours, these were missed opportunities. Everyone needs to vent, to cry, to be understood, or supported and especially by their partners. But if these moments were overlooked or never had, it might be the reason why he looked for this elsewhere.
- Friends – It’s that age old saying- “birds of a feather, flock together.” Again, another situation that has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. If he hangs out with friends that cheat, that think cheating is ok, that don’t have issues with men who cheat, then that becomes his mindset as well. He will think that cheating is ok, and he will cheat regardless of who he dates or loves.
- Unhappy – Many people live unhappy lives and cope with it in different ways. If a man blames his partner for an unhappy life, then he may seek another who may a provide a different life, a “happy” life. Unfortunately, happiness comes from within and has zero to do with your partner.
- They Want Out – For whatever reason, he decided he wants out of the relationship and he doesn’t have the courage to end it face to face. They cheat as a desperate quick exit out of the relationship. It wasn’t that he wanted to he with her, it was that he didn’t want to be with you. It’s cowardly, it’s selfish, it’s a dishonor to all the beautiful moments made and lived together, but it’s the simple truth.
Consider also that most of the stated reasons have nothing to do with the other spouse, and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. What happens after, however, is in your control. And if you decide to leave, then consult with us, trusted divorce attorneys, to know your options and take control: 512-212-7851. Sanchez & Flores, Attorneys at Law, LLC, Trusted Austin Divorce Attorneys.